


Swan Songs

by oneswhonever



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Short, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-18 08:50:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13096623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneswhonever/pseuds/oneswhonever
Summary: Craig recalls the final week leading up to his boyfriend's death.





	1. Chapter 1

Monday:

 

Craig can hear nothing but the sound of the clock ticking monotonously and the click-clack of everyone else's computers. His word document is open, titled, and formatted - the little line is blinking, continuously, as if to mock him. He knows he should start, knows he has to start, but he can't focus. His eyes wander. First to the right, where Clyde is sat beside him, his page open to his Facebook, assignment totally abandoned. After he rolls his eyes, they track over to the left, where his boyfriend has already fired up PowerPoint and is googling images for his first slide. Craig catches a glimpse of the Golden Gate Bridge.

"I've been getting a lot done," Tweek announces broadly, and from the corner of his eye, Craig can see Kyle glaring at them, seemingly bothered by the interruption that cut into the otherwise still silence of the room. Craig's stony blue eyes narrow into slits as he proudly raises a middle finger, causing the ginger to sneer and turn back to his own report. "I've done all my research already; I started last night. Did you know that they did a report on all the jumpers that survived their suicide attempts off the Golden Gate Bridge? A lot of people said that the first thing that they felt after jumping was regret."

"I'm sure they felt pain, too," Craig says, deadpanning. Out of all the topics in the world that he could have picked for his presentation, his boyfriend had to pick something just that depressing. "But I could believe it." Tweek smiles, a strange smile that doesn't reach the eyes, as he picks up his thermos and takes a drink. Craig watches. "Babe, I know you've put a lot of thought into this, but...do you really think this is the right topic for you?"

Tweek looks confused. He swallows thickly before speaking, "I don't know...why not? It's important that people know statistics. Awareness is not spread by simply ignoring."

"That'll be a fun one to watch," Stan says from the spot next to Kyle, and both boys snicker. Everyone is silent for the rest of the class period. 


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday:

 

Craig doesn't have to be told twice when Tweek wants to skip classes on any given day - especially today, seeing as Craig had a massive physics test that he really wasn't looking forward to failing. They skip town altogether in favor of heading to Denver for the day. The big city isn't entirely far, and Craig doesn't mind the drive. He likes all the Tweek time that he gets.

It's raining, which has been about standard for Colorado recently. He's just happy that there's no snow yet - it's late November, so he's anticipating it any day now. The older he got, the less he cared for winter. He never wanted to play outside anymore, even when Ruby was insistent on it (thank fuck for Tweek, he was always willing to play with his boyfriend's little sister; the two got on famously). 

"Suicide rates are higher in the states that get really bad winters," Tweek says, seemingly out of nowhere. Craig looks at him curiously. "Just thinking out loud. It was in my research for the health project." Craig still doesn't speak, can't find the words to say, to Tweek goes on. "Like, their seasonal depression rates are a lot higher, naturally. Winter is a really bad time for a lot of people."

Craig supposes he can relate to that on some level, but definitely not to a degree where he would take his own life. "I guess that makes sense. Honey, what is your project about, exactly?"

"Rates and statistics in teenage suicides," Tweek says, though he's not looking at Craig this time around. His gaze is fixed somewhere out the window. If there was ever a time for Craig to read minds, he thinks now would be the ideal time. "And warning signs. Most of the time they're just ignored and I really think that if more people could open their eyes and get people the help they need, the statistics would go down."

"Makes sense, I guess."


	3. Chapter 3

Wednesday:

 

Craig wishes that he was born with mind control capabilities. One, it would just be plain fucking awesome. Two, he would never have to  _guess_ what Tweek was thinking, he'd just know. His boyfriend was a mystery in every sense of the word. Stoicism was second nature for Craig, so  _actual_ human emotions were still confusing to him. It's hard for him to connect to Tweek on a deeper level, which makes their communication (or lack thereof) incredibly difficult. Tweek will talk when he wants to, but when he doesn't want to, he simply doesn't. 

Craig wishes he knew what his boyfriend was thinking as they press their wine-stained lips together, bodies still mostly sticking to one another. Being physically intimate with the blond is about all Craig knows how to do most of the time, and they always enjoy that time with one another. Tweek is plenty more inebriated than Craig, and it's certainly showing when he pulls back, flashing him a big, bright smile. He's been in a considerably good mood these past few days, which is odd, but Craig is certainly of the belief that happiness looks much better on Tweek than the tics and the depression. He doesn't think being in a good mood is a bad thing, so he never comments on it, and tries not to think too much about it. 

It's not that deep.

"I love you, Craig," Tweek tells him, for about the fifth time in the hour. Tweek has always been a passionate lover, anxious to grapple at every inch of Craig, crying out and feeling the need to tell him that he loves him every time he hits a particular nice spot. Not that Craig minds. He's glad that, in those moments, he's able to see right past Tweek - that there's no hiding, all feelings are right there for him to see in his unraveled boyfriend. The blond pushes back Craig's sweaty fringe so that he's able to look into his eyes. "I always will, okay?"

Craig lets out a laugh from somewhere deep in his chest. "I know it, you big sap. I love you, too."

Tweek sighs, nestles in close. "You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

Craig pulls him impossibly tighter, not intending to let go. The desperately needed shower could definitely wait. 


	4. Chapter 4

Thursday:

 

Craig unlocks his phone when it buzzes and he sees the Snapchat notification from Clyde. He opens it warily - he's at dinner with his parents and little sister and about the last thing he needs is a repeat of last week, when Clyde mistakenly sent him a picture of his fully erect penis ("mistakenly" meaning he meant to send it to Bebe Stevens). What he gets is almost worse. 

It's no secret to him that Clyde and Tweek hang out a lot; they're friends, and there's nothing wrong with it. However, Clyde seems to have snagged a bottle of vodka from  _somebody,_ and the photo is him and Tweek with it, sticking out their tongues at the camera. Even in the brief moment that he can see the picture, Craig can see fire in his boyfriend's eyes, and can tell that they're already drunk. 

_Wish you would have joined us you fucking square._

Craig wishes he would have, too. It's one thing when he and Tweek are drinking  _together,_ but he doesn't like it when Tweek drinks with other people. When they're together, Craig is able to monitor his intake - is able to cut Tweek off when he's already tipsy after their third glass of wine. Clyde is the type of person who will shame people for not drinking enough - the type to make competitions out of it. Craig knew that, so long as his boyfriend was being handed drinks, he would drink them. 

He knew Clyde would push his limits. 

"Craig, we're having dinner," his father's voice pulls him from his racing thoughts. "Put it away."

He does, but not before firing off a quick message to Tweek - telling him that he loves him, and to please take it easy. He resists checking his phone again until he's in the safety of his own room, where he has two messages waiting for him.

 _this kid is a lightweight haha. drunk philosopher._ From Clyde. 

 _im great craig.neverbetter. ilove you._ From Tweek.

He's not supposed to leave the house after dinner, but figures this is a pretty good exception to that rule, and leaves anyway. 

 


End file.
